Herbal Tea
by Chicklepea
Summary: Someone once posted a list of things Hogwarts students would never say. I gave mine a hearty dose of ‘herbal tea’ and look at my delightful results. Just pure idiocy really.


An. I own none of these characters or lines in bold before my fic; they belong to the author of The Dragon Rose and J.k. Rowling, If I owned them, I'd be a very talented young girl as I would have wrote my first book at about ten, I think. I don't know when she wrote the first one; so I'm guessing here. I probably wouldn't be broke either, hmm.  
  
Things Hogwarts Students would never say: Yeah right!  
  
Draco: "Who me? Sexy?! Never..."  
  
Harry: I hate Quidditch! Its silly, just a bunch of people chasing after four balls! Hahaha, I said balls!"  
  
Ron: Ginny's trying to see if she can sleep with all of Gryffindor's males? Neato!"  
  
Hermiony: Studying is boring! You can learn everything through trial and error anyways! Now lets play some Quidditch, get expelled, and get high while we're at it! Yeah, now that's fun!"  
  
Ginny: "Lavender, will you marry me?"  
  
Draco: "*sings* I'm a little teapot, short and stout..."  
  
Ron: "*sings* Mrs. Brown, you've got a lovely daughter...!"  
  
McGonagall: "*sings* Go! Getcha' freak on! Go! Getcha freak on..."  
  
Draco: "My hair SUCKS!"  
  
Ginny and Lavender trudged down to their detention with Professor McGonagall. McGonagall had caught them out after curfew three times this week so this was their punishment. They had to be more careful; they had a bet on about who could sleep with all of Griffendor's males in the sixth and seventh years first. Ginny was currently in the lead by one boy, but that was only because she didn't have to sleep with her brother.  
  
When they got to the classroom they found it empty of all life so they sat down in a spare desk. Ginny looked at Lavender and sighed, "This detention is going to suck isn't it?" Ginny groaned. Lavenders face got a mischievous grin and she pulled a teapot out of her bag, "'herbal' tea Gin?" Ginny beamed at the teapot and squealed in delight remembering the last time her and Lavender had gotten stoned by drinking that tea: it was great; it was also the time they started the bet. Ginny knelt in front of Lavender and clutched the girls hand, "Lavender, will you marry me?" she said putting on her pleading face; Lavender yanked her to her feet laughing at the stupid red head, then poured her a cup.  
  
"So, I think we should extend our bet to all the houses," Lavender said with a little glint in her eye, "Um, Slitherin?" Ginny muttered; she really didn't think shagging the likes of Crab and Goyle were worth a stupid bet. Lavender shrugged, "There are benefits, like Malfoy," Ginny ginned and nodded,  
  
"Well I guess he is fairly good looking," Ginny said turning a lovely pink,  
  
"Oh please, he's drop dead, gagging for it, fuck me over sexy!" Lavender smirked, "Who me? Sexy?! Never thought I was, considering girls seem to run in the opposite direction when I'm near," Draco drawled as he plopped himself into the seat beside Ginny and began helping himself to the 'herbal' tea. "Well your hair is just gorges for one," Ginny said stoking his soft blonde locks; she was a little high right now, "My hair SUCKS!" Draco whined pulling at a strand with disgust, "It doesn't, and girls run away because your mean," Lavender agreed with Ginny and poured them all some more tea.  
  
Just then McGonagall walked in wearing a Walkman and was singing; "Go! Getcha' freak on! Go! Getcha freak on..." Ginny looked at her friends and they all sputtered with laughter. McGonagall, realising her detenionees had arrived early, turned crimson and shoved the offending object into her draw. She cleared her throat sternly and glared at them, "Now all we must do is wait for Miss Gran... Ah, your all here," Harry, Hermiony and Ron walked in and sat down with Ginny, Lavender and Draco. Draco waved merrily to them causing Ginny and Lavender to sputter with tears of mirth. McGonagall eyed them suspiciously before explaining that she had a meeting with the head master so they would be studying for on hour out of the textbooks provided and she would return to dismiss them.  
  
"What have you three been on," Hermiony asked sniffing at the tea they were sipping, Ginny giggled some more and poured Hermiony, Ron, and Harry cups; "Drink up!" she said raising her cup in a toasting gesture. Draco and Lavender copied, spilling tea everywhere. Hermiony shrugged and drowned the cup with two gulps; Harry and Ron stared before copying. Soon the six teenagers were laughing about funny looking bids; all happy and incredibly high.  
  
"Herm, aren't we meant to be studying?" Harry giggled, "Yeah, Herm, since when do you give up on a chance to study," Ron said ruffling her fluffy hair, Ginny and Draco burst into fresh laughter. "Studying is boring! You can learn everything through trial and error anyways! Now lets play some Quidditch, get expelled, and get high while we're at it! Yeah, now that's fun!" Hermiony said and fell off her chair. Harry frowned as though in deep thought, which made Draco spit out the tea he was drinking out on Lavender who meant to hit him on the arm, only missed and hit Ginny who fell on top of Hermiony. "I hate Quidditch! Its silly, just a bunch of people chasing after four balls! Hahaha, I said balls!" Harry laughed and looked over at Ginny and Hermiony, "I never knew you two were together," he said in all seriousness.  
  
"There not," Lavender said pulling Ginny to her feet, "Me and Ginny are going to sleep with all the men in Griffendor sixth year and up!" Ginny scowled at Lavender, "It was meant to be a secret; if they think it's a bet they might not sleep with us," she hissed, "Ginny's trying to see if she can sleep with all of Gryffindor's males? Neato!" Ron said and clumsily kissed his sister on the cheek; Harry and Draco pouted, "You've not slept with me," Harry complained, "I'm not even Griffendor," Draco whined causing Ginny and Lavender to snog each boy, Ginny a snogged Draco and Lavender snogged Harry; they then swapped. When they were done Draco poured him self another cup then stared chuckling: everyone looked at him and he put one hand on his hip, and held the other arm out, then began singing loudly, "I'm a little teapot, short and stout..." Harry clapped him on the back, "You're a lanky bastard Malfoy, wrong song," he chuckled and sat down beside Hermiony then snogged her.  
  
Ron went to pour some more tea, but found Draco drank the last, and he couldn't complain at him because he was snogging his sister, so he went and snogged and Lavender instead. About half an hour later and McGonagle walked into the room; she coughed loudly at the snogging couples who all fell onto the floor in shock, and tried to look as though they were reading their books. Even though they were now kneeling up, and only the boys could actually see the top of the desk. "Your Walkman Mr Weasley, and I shall see you all for the remainder of the week in detention, good night," They all grumbled as they got to their feet and stomped out of the detention. Once they got into the hall they cracked up laughing again.  
  
Draco threw Ginny over his shoulder and decided he would take her to Griffendor tower like this; Lavender jumped on Ron's back and nibbled his ear, while Hermiony and Harry skipped down the hall together. Ron had his earphones in and began singing along; "Mrs. Brown, you've got a lovely daughter...!" the rest of them joined in singing loudly until they were all caught by Filch and given another weeks worth of detention.  
  
The end.  
  
An, I know its stupid, but hey there high. And I was only proving VanniaPuF wrong about things Hogwarts people would never say. Id do the other ones you put on but I cant be bothered, as I'm tired. By the way The Dragons Rose is great; I love Voldermort and Lucius in it. Sorry. READ HER FIC, and review my other ones; I'd say review this but it sucks. Heres you all a load of kisses, xxxxxxxxxxxx and hugs and stuff, now get lost and read my other fics, which aren't finished because I don't know where to go next so help a little girl out. 


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